Yesterday, I spent an enjoyable morning at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills for the dineLA press conference. Don’t worry – I can mention other hotels here. I know who’s number one in my heart. But I, of course, had to go incognito. If you were there, do you remember a devilishly handsome gentleman who had the city’s best and brightest hanging on his every word?

That was me. Yes, I know how to blend in. It comes from my time in Berlin during the Cold War. Don’t ask.

Now, for those in the know, dineLA is a legendary tradition in Los Angeles: every year, for two years now, hundreds of the city’s best restaurants get together and, in the interest of broadening their customer base, offer special set menus at affordable prices. Why people order off the menu in the first place, I don’t know. I certainly never do. I like making up what I want for dinner on the spot, you know, to keep the restaurant staff on their feet. I love the mayhem I can cause with one simple request for fresh lizard’s tail baked in a BBQ spinach aioli. Hilarious! You should have seen Wolfgang’s face!

But so I spent an hour or two at this lovely press conference, giving each of the chefs terrible advice on how to make their restaurant more competitive with our resto Twist. Unlike these lazy bums, our own chef Antonio Moreno was, oddly enough, back at Twist actually working. Imagine that, chefs of dineLA? And what are you doing, if I may ask? Oh, you’re promoting your restaurant through this great LA program.

Here’s a few shots I took at the press conference. Who’s that in the middle? The mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa? I’ll never tell…

This is Bruce, signing off.

Sometimes I wish I had learned more languages as a child. English is a nice native tongue, as are Spanish, Latin, Greek, French, Russian, and Tibetan Yak, all of which were taught in my private finishing school on the banks of Interlocken in Switzerland. Learning new languages should be a necessary part of every young scion-to-be, and yet I feel like I haven’t done enough personally to expand my linguistic prowess, adding only German and Swedish in the recent years. And who really needs Swedish, honestly?

But back to the point: I was told, just the other day, that our delightful Spa Luce was being written up in Cosmopolitan, one of my absolutely favorite magazines! I couldn’t wait to read it… Unfortunately, I was defeated by my own ignorance. I’ll let the picture do the explaining:

This is Cosmopolitan Hong Kong, which is in Chinese, so I can’t read a word of it. I assume every word in this article is true and kind, because, well, Spa Luce is fantastic. In fact, I’m going to assume there’s also a complimentary word or two in there about me. Why wouldn’t they, after all?

So, while I can’t read it, I would like to thank Cosmopolitan Hong Kong for such a glowing review (who’s going to say otherwise?), and also to CoolHunt (their website here) for setting it up. Thanks, people! Now, time to brush up on those dead languages; where’s my copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls?

This is Bruce, signing off.