Sometimes I wish I had learned more languages as a child. English is a nice native tongue, as are Spanish, Latin, Greek, French, Russian, and Tibetan Yak, all of which were taught in my private finishing school on the banks of Interlocken in Switzerland. Learning new languages should be a necessary part of every young scion-to-be, and yet I feel like I haven’t done enough personally to expand my linguistic prowess, adding only German and Swedish in the recent years. And who really needs Swedish, honestly?

But back to the point: I was told, just the other day, that our delightful Spa Luce was being written up in Cosmopolitan, one of my absolutely favorite magazines! I couldn’t wait to read it… Unfortunately, I was defeated by my own ignorance. I’ll let the picture do the explaining:

This is Cosmopolitan Hong Kong, which is in Chinese, so I can’t read a word of it. I assume every word in this article is true and kind, because, well, Spa Luce is fantastic. In fact, I’m going to assume there’s also a complimentary word or two in there about me. Why wouldn’t they, after all?

So, while I can’t read it, I would like to thank Cosmopolitan Hong Kong for such a glowing review (who’s going to say otherwise?), and also to CoolHunt (their website here) for setting it up. Thanks, people! Now, time to brush up on those dead languages; where’s my copy of the Dead Sea Scrolls?

This is Bruce, signing off.

This morning I got a bit of a surprise in my inbox: a notification from the Mother Ship – aka Marriott Corporate Headquarters - that my hotel is no longer the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel. What? No! I was surprised, alarmed, shocked, then surprised again, for good measure.

And then I remembered. We are now, yes, the Renaissance Hollywood Hotel & Spa.

What’s that? A name change! Sounds good, doesn’t it? That little addition, “& Spa!” Does that mean Spa Luce is going to be opening very soon? Well, you know how I feel about revealing my secrets; I’m like Homeland Security, but less swiss cheese-like. It’s not like I told you about Michael Ausiello’s secret circus upbringing or what my favorite secret power would be… But in this case I’ll make an exception: Spa Luce will be opening its doors on May 1st, 2008.

So, we’ve changed our name and are preparing to open our new spa, and that means we need a new logo for the hotel. You see how the logo has already changed on the website – those tech-guys do things quick. Did you notice how we’ve also changed our sign outside the hotel? Go and check next time. Here’s an image of what we’re going with for now on here:

I find the image quite handsome and, honestly, I can’t see how we ever did without it. But that’s all marketing talk, and you, dear readers, are probably not as interested in that as you might be in this: our new spa menu.

I just got a call from our dear Helen Storer, the Spa Director for Spa Luce, with the finalized version of the spa menu. However, before I share it with you, Helen insists I point out a few details about the spa. I’ll let her words guide us:

“Spa Luce offers a one of a kind tranquil urban oasis within the fast paced excitement of the world’s most famous city. The 6400-square-foot, state-of-the-art luxury spa features personalized treatments, celebrity-inspired pampering, and top-of-the-line beauty and health products. The spa’s commitment to all-around natural beauty is evident in the three exclusive product lines chosen to be used in treatments: Sonya Dakar Skincare, the Somme Institute, and Red Flower.”

For the most part, I’m not sure what she’s talking about but no matter – it sounds marvelous, and very relaxing! Check out the spa menu here.

Now, all that news was all a little too exciting for me. I think I’m going to go have an Ausholitini at the Twist Bar. It is, after all, almost noon.

This is Bruce, signing off.

I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time: I finally get to talk about the new Spa Luce that’s opening in 2008. We broke ground right after last year’s Oscars (I give the edge to No Country for Old Men over last year’s winner, The Departed, but not by much) and ever since, we’ve been developing this place.

I mention this because we just gave our first tour of the premises to the media. And this wasn’t just any reporter or journalist; this was Liz Mazurski of Spa Magazine. Now, I know very little about the spa industry, but some little bird told me, and I quote, “She’s is the industry. She’s royalty. Why don’t you know this, Bruce? We told you this five times already.” Why people abuse my good name I don’t know, but apparently Liz is important.

Anyway, Liz came out and got a full-on Hardhat Tour of Spa Luce. It was pretty fabulous. We got to see all the elegant treatment rooms, the excellent showers, the post-treatment Tea Rooms… We only call it the Tea Room to please Helen Storer, our Spa Director; she’s English and she just insists on it. Doesn’t she know that we drink coffee here in America? Oh, I’m being told I’m wrong, that people going to spas like tea. Am I expected to know this?

Here are some spa details: At over 5700 square feet, Spa Luce will have seven distinct treatment rooms; much of the spa will be lit entirely by natural light (thank you, SoCal); and will feature at least two signature massage treatments, the Japan Ritual and the Hammam Ritual. Through these personally customized treatments, Spa Luce will offer a level of celebrity-inspired pampering all Renaissance guests deserve.

After the Hardhat Tour, we took Liz to Twist and we got to sample the tasty little morsels that will make up the spa menu. Everything was delicious, healthy, light – perfect for a little post-spa nibble.

Liz plans to include our spa in the May issue of Spa Magazine, so look for it on newstands. Time to wrap this up, preferably with this tasty Ahi Spring Roll. Yes, I will have another… Delicious.

This is Bruce, signing off.